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Are women misleading when expressing what they want from a man?

Pickup artists are the biggest champions of the belief that women are not always honest - often not even honest with themselves - about what they really want from a man. On the other side of the debate, feminists argue that while both men and women can be mistaken about what they want, this is due to a lack of education, self-awareness, and empowerment, and that both men and women need to listen to feminists - the furthest along that path - to understand what women truly want.

Implications to Other Questions

Is the model of human nature used by pickup artists accurate?
Are women misleading when expressing what they want from a man?

Experts and Influencers

Suggest Expert Quote (click to expand, no login required)
Agree
Experts In Seduction


Mystery    Pickup Artist, Celebrity, Author
Agree
What a woman says and how they respond are two entirely different things.
11 Oct 2007    Source


Heartiste    Pickup Artist
Agree
CR Maxim #57: Never trust a woman’s advice on how to please women. Her advice is designed for alpha men she already finds attractive and from whom she seeks signals of attainability and commitment. Corollary to Maxim #57: A woman’s sex and relationship advice isn’t meant to help men; it’s meant to distract men from what really works to turn women on.
24 May 2010    Source


Miscellaneous Experts


HughRistik    Blogger
Mostly Agree
This research suggests that maybe [neither men nor women] knows what they want... [However, for women, ] perhaps the implicit cultural theories of what women should be attracted to are stronger than those for men. Also, perhaps women’s preferences are just more complicated than men’s on average, and it takes women more years of observation and introspection to accurately state those preferences. ... [Alternatively, perhaps] they need to give answers that are acceptable to society.
26 Apr 2008    Source


Disagree
Experts In Feminism


Naomi Wolf    Author, Feminist, Political Consultant
Disagree
Research has shown, and it's my favorite statistic in misconceptions, is that the most erotic thing a man can do for a women is the dishes, is housework.
16 Jul 2007    Source


Suggested Expert Quotes


Marc
You know, I am tired of this whole bullshit of "what women want." I am talking about Maxim and other magazines, books and websites like www.askmen.com and "dating courses" that talk about what women want and the art of picking up women. Pure and simple - if you want to know what the hell a woman wants, talk to her! Listen to her! Is that too f***ing hard? It's a simple but novel idea, isn't it?



Comments

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0 Points      dionisos      23 Aug 2016      Stance on Question: Mostly Agree
People fall in love, when they are in love, they often love almost the person as a whole, and not a particular part.
After they can try to use induction on the sample of person they fall in love with, but there are too much properties and the sample is very small.

It is better if you replace "love" by "attracted by", but it is still not very good.
It is also easier to know the general rules if you fall in love easily or are attracted by a lot of people.(because the sample is then bigger, and the rules are simpler)

Introspection work, but only partially, and there are social and self-image problems which reduce the efficiency of introspection.

Add potential lies and communication problems to that.

But only empirical studies, with good protocols, and without ideological agenda, can really answer to this.


1 Point      Keller Scholl      27 May 2011      Stance on Question: Agree
People don't truly understand themselves. humans are massively bad at cognitive psychology. It is not women who are misleading: It is everybody. People don't really want what they think they want, and they rarely truly believe what they think they believe. The idea that you should trust what someone tells you about their own psychology, just because of their gender, is hopelessly naive.


0 Points      Benja      27 May 2011      General Comment
"The idea that you should trust what someone tells you about their own psychology, just because of their gender, is hopelessly naive."
Or perhaps more precisely, it's silly to take what someone says literally about their own psychology. What they say is often highly revealing of what they actually believe, even if it's at odds with what they say.



0 Points      Benja      28 May 2010      Stance on Question: Agree
To be successful in this world requires looking past what people say and reading their underlying intentions. With this in mind, is it surprising that a woman wanting a successful man might be inclined to test if he's smart enough to read her?